Thursday, September 15, 2011
a fight in faith
a fight
in faith
a little
sanity
in truth
a disaster
waiting
for it's master
in time
a promise
broken
before us all
just a token
in tune
a lie
told
just a whisper
in confidence
a little
insanity
in truth
a fight
in faith.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
messing around with a new setup here, don't really know what to think about it as far as smoothness goes.
most of what i've written here is somewhat "singsong"/lyrical, which this is, obviously, not.
I think the structure of this poem binds it together and keeps its movement fluid and smooth. Each stanza reads with a breath, and the half the poem feels like an inhale, followed by an exhale beginning in the middle of the fourth stanza and mirroring out.
I like the subtlety of each stanza and how they almost mirror each other throughout the poem. When I say "almost", I think you could switch the third and fourth stanzas so that disaster stanza is in the middle so it's surrounded by a promise and a lie. Just an idea to parallel what the surrounding stanzas are doing.
Post a Comment