Second day in a row where I’m sitting in the dark…
Giving time for my mind to pick my entire life apart
From the very start to imagining the time when my soul departs
Wonderin whether or not I’ll die of old age
Or in lots of pain from a high numbered cancer stage
Lookin at life deciding whether or not I made my mark or just a stain
Then I remind my mind to take caution
Because I’m probably going to die from heat exhaustion
No electricity definitely means there’s no AC
This heat and darkness are making me crazy
Comprehensive abilities getting hazy
Body getting tired and lazy…
Then I realize how much I take things for granted
That my view on life is more than slightly slanted
Luxuries as necessities…an idea implanted
Brutally branded into my cerebral
That I shouldn’t care about other people
In poverty or living through civil upheaval
Where death instead of life is the lesser of two evils
Their next meal may not be achievable
Makes me feel like my complaints are unbelievable
Look at the kind of ideas this emptiness sparks
When I’m sitting here…in the dark.
Giving time for my mind to pick my entire life apart
From the very start to imagining the time when my soul departs
Wonderin whether or not I’ll die of old age
Or in lots of pain from a high numbered cancer stage
Lookin at life deciding whether or not I made my mark or just a stain
Then I remind my mind to take caution
Because I’m probably going to die from heat exhaustion
No electricity definitely means there’s no AC
This heat and darkness are making me crazy
Comprehensive abilities getting hazy
Body getting tired and lazy…
Then I realize how much I take things for granted
That my view on life is more than slightly slanted
Luxuries as necessities…an idea implanted
Brutally branded into my cerebral
That I shouldn’t care about other people
In poverty or living through civil upheaval
Where death instead of life is the lesser of two evils
Their next meal may not be achievable
Makes me feel like my complaints are unbelievable
Look at the kind of ideas this emptiness sparks
When I’m sitting here…in the dark.
5 comments:
As reference...I wrote this on the second day of a two day power outage in my entire neighborhood.
That sucks. I like how you capture the maddening aspect of not having the comforts that we're used to. Just being alone to think is a pretty scary, dauntin idea. You capture that well here. And you even have a bit of a revelation at the end, albeit perhaps fleeting. Nice.
There's a strong sense of locomotion. As a reader taking this in, I sense a very tangible sense of speed that picks up as the poem progresses. For me, it reaches full speed right after the line, "Then I realize how much I take things for granted." I thought this quite fitting as you overwhelm the reader with all that we do often take for granted. I think its difficult to so vividly capture this type of pacing with the written word. Well done, sir!
On another note, I noticed a missed a call from you the other day. What's the word? I hope it wasn't urgent.
Like Edward, I like the turn that occurs after the "taking life for granted" line. We really become consumed by the luxuries that incubate us and we avoid thinking about the less fortunate of which there are many. Even the emptiness refers to our shallow nature with how self-absorbed we can be. I also like the circularity of the poem as the last line refers back to the first.
Thank you all! I felt compelled to write this after I realized that all the complaints I had about not having power were asinine. Two days without power seemed like an eternity, but made me realize that people live without power or even clean water everyday. My empathetic side decided to come out...haha.
On a side note...I was recently laid off, so I don't know how much time I'll have to write or update the blog...I used to write the spoken words on my lunch breaks, but now my time is reserved for looking for work. When I get back on my feet I'll be back with a vengeance! (If anyone knows of any job openings let me know!)
Edward - I called you just to catch up and see if you were free for drinks or whatever. Nothing urgent.
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