As I collect my thoughts and reflect on my life, I feel disconnected
In the country I call my own … I feel neglected
But is it reality I feel or my own negative perceptions?
Having to choose between truths and deceptions
I redefine my preconceptions and reflect on past transgressions
Which ultimately … causes me to still feel disconnected.
As I walked through life I used to walk without eyes
Unable to see the lies disguised as truths leading to my demise … no goodbyes … no farewells
As I shed this shell of a conformist exterior I am reborn to think for myself
To no longer conform, as I transform … I no longer feel disconnected
Left to feel what’s true … not just what’s expected.
No longer left to be subjected to mass media misinterpretations
Beguiling the masses with force fed educations … set to strip one of thought, and to force feed US preservation
Is there a cure to this country’s desperation?
I don’t know … but I know that I have found the path to my own salvation
I have found a way to once again … feel connected.
Monday, September 20, 2010
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6 comments:
Glad to see you made it here, Peter. Welcome to throwaway! All I ask is that, with each post, please label them 'Peter Chung' so that they compile under said label.
That said, the spoken word influences resonate in this poem as well. Like "Crack of Dawn," this is another topic that I'm always drawn to. The idea of conformity, of socially trained puppets, soaking in the bullshit from FOX or MSNBC or Rush Limbaugh or Michael Moore, and even from out teachers, like me. Your poem ambitiously tackles these ideas. Structurally, I particularly like the frame that your title and the final word offers. Amidst all the pessimism, there is still an inkling of hope, aye? Good stuff.
Question: do you find the rhythms and mechanics of spoken word to be different from written poetry?
Thanks Edward, and thanks for the invite.
To answer your question... I DO find that the rhythms of spoken words are a lot different from written poetry...as far as I can tell. I'm not a huge poetry person (I don't read poetry at all, and don't know the structures of poetry one bit...which is what I hope to change on this blog), but when I write a spoken word I always keep in mind that the words NEED to flow from beginning to end. When I'm writing poetry I tend to only concentrate on the rhythm of the end of each stanza, and not throughout.
As for mechanics ... I'm not entirely sure. I just write to write. The writing on my personal blog is a way for me portray emotions and feelings that I can't or don't want to say out loud...which is strange because I have no problems performing the spoken words.
I look forward to being a part of this community, and for any constructive criticism! I have thick skin, so please don't hold back...I won't ever improve unless I know what areas to improve on. :D
-PETER
From what I've seen and heard, verbal inflections and, to some extent, physical gestures, go a long way in spoken word. My impression is that these tools are replaced by punctuation, line breaks, stanza breaks, and word choices too.
Anyway, your experience with spoken word compels me to post one of my favorite pieces:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEBZkWkkdZA
I show this to my composition classes when talking about audience and precision in language.
Welcome aboard! I look forward to reading your work. Let me warn you though, if you post daily, this blog will eat your soul.
Anyways, I like some of the internal rhyme you have here. There is definitely a strong rhythm here and as I read the comments above, I'm assuming that this is intended for the spoken word due especially to the repetition.
You are correct sir. The majority of my work that I will be posting on here are spoken words. Trying to broaden my poetic horizons, so maybe I'll take a shot at something out of my norm sometime in the near future.
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