Self-Destruction

Caught between a rock and a hard place…I choose self-destruction
Too late for a talk face to face, my mind can barely function
Thoughts moving at too fast of a pace, mostly assumptions
Sometimes I wish I had more gumption, yet I find myself too many times reluctant…

The paths constantly chosen will always seem to be a mystery
The notion to be open always seems to lead to injury
Too well guarded from emotions to let anything lead to misery
Just going through the motions to avoid repeating history…

Lies hidden behind truth, without even being able to realize
Left only to appear uncouth without the ability to recognize
Letting negative thought pollute and ultimately demonize
And emphasize on this mass emotional genocide…

There’s a reason I tend to choose self-devastation
Too scared to refuse paths that lead to self-desecration
Always ready to abuse myself without needing explanation
Pain leaving no blood or bruise, only internal mutilation…

I just don’t know the rationality, I wish I could explain
Don’t know why my personality seems to be the cause of pain
For myself, or others, brutality seems to be my domain
Looking to change that mentality, so that my sanity may remain.