Emotional Capacity

There is a limit to my emotional capacity
Gravity gravitated me towards those that caused calamity
I blindly walked through life with fervent tenacity
Classically trained in thought that one day I’d meet my match romantically
Sadly I’ve changed into someone who looks at life cynically
At people, especially those, who go through life using deception and mimicry
Initially formed those same people into the epitome of angel imagery
I was blind until my mind had an abundance of epiphanies
Even through moments of unspeakable indignity
I still bear the scars, both mentally and physically
Badges of honor and pride, symbols of resiliency
Some people call me pessimistic, I call myself a realist
Instead of open hands I stand with clenched fists
Always ready to defend, fight, and persist
To protect my heart from, once again, sinking into the abyss
The place where minds and souls struggle to exist
Where death comes knocking, and opening the door is hard to resist
Wondering, “If I left this world, would I be missed?”
There is a limit to my emotional capacity
A part of me still hopes there’s someone out there who can change my mentality.