Why were you there?
Attending Satan's
time share pitch.
He spoke of revolution,
and longing for the spotlight
you had to come along.
You planned to be
the great hero.
God's lap dog,
but how did you
expect God
not to know?
Outsmarted seraph.
One step behind both
Good and Evil.
Neither hero
nor villain
you rest as a footnote
in celestial history.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
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2 comments:
So this is the revision. Quite a bit different form the original, and better, but still needs work. Here's the original to remind you
http://throwawaypoetry.blogspot.com/2010/10/abdiel.html
I got to be honest with you. I liked the first version better. For some reason the questions throw me off. I like the new second stanza though as well as the second person rather than the third person. Since you are addressing Abdiel directly, I sort of wonder where Abdiel is as he's a reject of both heaven and hell? Could you incorporate a sense of setting into the poem?
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