I stand in line with my sights set on what seems like no end
I stand in line following the masses like sheep who can’t comprehend
I stand and I watch while this country goes to shit
Where politicians refuse to commit and admit we’re fighting a war in which the people do not permit
Where people submit their lives to the hands of puppet masters with pens and demented intents
Hellbent on the torment caused by a war in which their pens gave consent
Content, just as long as their presence maintains a low US death percent
In response … I refuse to stand in a line with a gun in one hand and another in salute
To a government with malicious pursuits, who ask questions long after they shoot
I stand, maybe not with the soldiers out on the front line, but I stand in support of allowing their memories to shine
But I refuse to align my mind to the confines of conformist design
That is why, instead, I stand in a line with a sign screaming, “KEEP THE TROOPS ALIVE!”
And on the other side, a seemingly endless count, to the days they arrive
Survived as their brothers and sisters were killed in combat by their sides
I stand in a line to cast a vote on the times of CHANGE to come
A vote cast to no longer succumb to a “democratic” regime’s way of thinking that’s made this country numb
Numb … ever since our fellow brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and children alike
Were killed in one terrorist act thought up by terrible spite, that’s left this country in fear to act out in anger and fright
Left to point fingers at any villain in sight, regardless of whether or not that choice was right
To any with a mind it might not be the man America put in the spotlight …
Because if it was … we’d be fighting the right fight.
6 comments:
This was written circa 2008...during the Bush administration.
The repetition of sound and words is effective here. I like the progression of rhyme here. You use slant rhyme to move on to the next rhyme which lends a nice cohesion to the piece's entirety.
Sometimes the rhythm throws me off like the second to last line. For some reason, the word "America" disrupts the rhythm for me. It's an awkward word in that it's four tightly wound syllables.
On a personal note, thank god Bush is out of the White House.
I had trouble with the "America" when I did this at an open mic. It really did disrupt the flow of the ending, but I'm not one to self-edit... I'm the type of person who would rather just improve on the next piece and not make the same mistake again.
Thanks for the feedback! This might sound like a dumb question...but what's "slant rhyme"?
Slant rhyme is rhyme in which either the vowels or the consonants of stressed syllables are identical, as in eyes, light; years, yours.
You use it with "design" and "alive" and in other places as well. It works really well throughout.
I can hear a strong voice, full of conviction, when reading this poem. It almost sounds like a Jonathan Edward's sermon or a speech from Martin Luther King Jr. It's powerful, and the ideas presented resonate long after the final line. Like Brent mentions, the rhyme adds to the presentation, and I admire the use of alliteration and repetition as well: this is a tactic used in King's "I Have a Dream" speech,
which is probably why I can hear him in my head when reading this.
Edward - Next time we have drinks ask me to recite this. I still know it by heart, so if I'm drunk enough I'll probably do it...hahaha.
Thanks for the comparison to Dr. King. I'm flattered.
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