I know someone who is in an extremely unstable relationship.I was thinking how much that would suck to just be waiting to catch shit. He also lives near the beach so this kind of works.
I dig the metaphor you create here. I also like the difference between the two stanzas in that the first is basic description and the second personalizes everything. I also like the images of the shadow, the loosening sand, the lumbering wave. The line that stood out to me the most was "Water licking my toes." It's a great line but I don't know if it fits the context of the poem. Maybe something like "bites" or "nibbles," something painful. Good stuff.
2 comments:
I know someone who is in an extremely unstable relationship.I was thinking how much that would suck to just be waiting to catch shit. He also lives near the beach so this kind of works.
I dig the metaphor you create here. I also like the difference between the two stanzas in that the first is basic description and the second personalizes everything. I also like the images of the shadow, the loosening sand, the lumbering wave. The line that stood out to me the most was "Water licking my toes." It's a great line but I don't know if it fits the context of the poem. Maybe something like "bites" or "nibbles," something painful. Good stuff.
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