play dress up for Sunday brunch
with their smiles, their outfits,
and everything underneath: reminders
of my sister's wannabe Barbies,
left dressless in that old toyhouse
thrown together from leftover
blocks of yesterdays Legos.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
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4 comments:
Great to see a good number of poets posting today! I hope to spend quality time with the posted poems tomorrow, and hopefully comment on them as well. Until then!
cool comparisons going on in here. I love the images between the "plastics" of childhood and the literal of plastic people. The image of the naked Barbie is strong. I like how you also lead the reader into a visual of the country clubs people's outfits and "everything underneath," which can mean their literal lack of internal perspective and their literal clothes. Maybe being more specific in this line. The image and meaning is already strong, but perhaps instead of "outfits" you cold describe the actual outfit to make that naked barbie really translate the meaning. Did this make sense? I f-ing exhausted.
cool comparisons going on in here. I love the images between the "plastics" of childhood and the literal of plastic people. The image of the naked Barbie is strong. I like how you also lead the reader into a visual of the country clubs people's outfits and "everything underneath," which can mean their literal lack of internal perspective and their literal clothes. Maybe being more specific in this line. The image and meaning is already strong, but perhaps instead of "outfits" you cold describe the actual outfit to make that naked barbie really translate the meaning. Did this make sense? I f-ing exhausted.
Haha! Thanks for finding the energy to comment in exhaustion. I understand your suggestion, and I like it! This poem remains largely broad and void of precise and vivid images. I'll definitely find ways to expand on some of the generalities like "outfits" if and when I'm compelled to revisit this poem.
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