This garden's piercing green
now withers. Its caretakers lost,
to be found in some tomorrow
as trinkets of yesterdays passed
mineralized
into colorless shapeless garnets,
a forgotten rock, pressed down rivers
into great lakes: where gold,
etched with deep water purple,
forges a home
worthy of a dynasty.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
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3 comments:
I'd like to play with this poem more, as I do like some of the ideas I'm playing with. However, I know that, once again, my metaphors lack consistency, and that this is a bit unpolished.
That said, my focus for the rest of the day is on Game 4. Please watch the game and support your team: they'll need it today. Even you, Brent, who, in your hatred for all things Boston, can, for two weeks, be a Laker fan.
I like it, but I feel that the title should be something different. It's not just about the Lakers. Maybe something to do with the rivalry. I too am looking forward to tonight. I hope that Ray Allen goes 0-1,000,000 again. Classic stuff.
You know how much I love the Lakers. I really like this poem because of your metaphors. I specially like your how used stones but shouldn't they be emeralds? I think emeralds are green? I'm actually quite envious of your writing skills.
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