More dry ink, although, from revisiting, I kind of like my Super Mario Kart poem: it's rough around the edges, but a poem that I wouldn't mind playing with and refining a bit more.
I think this has so much potential. I like how you are playing with the breaks...it sort of suspends the poem via pauses. It's as if the speaker is smoking... This is a really cool effect.
I think a break after "this" in the first stanza might create a neat effect. Just a thought.
2 comments:
More dry ink, although, from revisiting, I kind of like my Super Mario Kart poem: it's rough around the edges, but a poem that I wouldn't mind playing with and refining a bit more.
I think this has so much potential. I like how you are playing with the breaks...it sort of suspends the poem via pauses. It's as if the speaker is smoking... This is a really cool effect.
I think a break after "this" in the first stanza might create a neat effect. Just a thought.
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