Thursday, May 13, 2010

Through the Shadows (Revised)

Blindly, freely, effortlessly
I fall into that old familiar place.
Engulfed in frigid darkness,
The world now upside down.
Across the frozen lake,
Faintly, I can see him.
He too had fallen,
Or perhaps was thrown headfirst.
Old and feeble, he is not as though he seems...

My hands, wintery branches, I light a match.
In the icy waters beneath my feet,
The bodies begin to tremble and convulse...
They lust for, yet fear the light.
I turn to the once beloved hero.
His face, the scars of suffering,
Traces of regret, a semblance of betrayal,
And his eyes, the deep void emptiness...
The sorrow of being forgotten.

My muscles begin to tense
The cold peeling away at my bones...
Through the shadows,
Upon the weak flicker of the flame,
I can see his eyes transfixed.
He smiles...A sudden burst of warmth...
And in the brief second,
Before the flame draws dead, I smile back.
As if to say, "Thank you."

3 comments:

Timothy Wildermuth said...

This is a revision of the poem I wrote earlier today.

Thanks for the feedback, Brent. Though I'm not entirely happy with this or the previous version, I feel that this revised version is a great improvement.

Anyhow, I'd better get back to work.

I hope y'all are having a beautiful day!

Brandi Kary said...

It's nice to see a label say the words "romantic satanism." Great. I may just need to try it.
I enjoyed the darkness and shadow aspect you kept throughout the poem. There is also a sense of movement through the action words (peeling, draw, treble, thrown..) Yet, the content seems very still. I guess what I'm trying to say is there's a nice duality going on here. I'm conflicted over the ellipses...

Timothy Wildermuth said...

I think I'm addicted to ellipses...sometimes I just can't help myself. I need to work on this addiction.

Romantic Satanism is really the brainchild of Blake. The younger romantics took it and ran with it, especially Byron and Shelley. (This is perhaps my favorite literary period.)

Anyhow, thanks for the feedback.