Okay, confession time. I respect him, and his skills, but I was never a fan of anything other than his shoes. Give me Magic anyday. A guy that played every position and made everyone that he played with look better. With that said I like this. It is interesting that to me it seems to focus on the brand and his role in pop culture rather than on the court, and I like how it can be read either way. I feel as if it would be stronger without the "your" and if "defies" was "defying". I think that "silhouette defying" just sounds cooler, and more consistent with the other verbs. Also, I'm going to create a label for "heroes" when I get to my computer, and this is going there.
I took your suggestion on the first line, and I prefer it! Thank you, sir! Like you, I respect Jordan's skills, but I'll take Magic too. It's not very clear in my poem, but my intent was not to be particularly flattering of Jordan: it was to note the incessant search for the next Jordan, and emphasize the shift of the basketball culture from a team sport to a superstar sport. I know, it's not all there, and I'll probably need to extend it to really get to the anchor of what I want to explore.
Initially I read it is flattery. Rereading it I do get what you're saying. I was having a conversation about this last night with a friend. Team sports are tiresome now in their inability to focus on team. Whether it's Lebron, Pujols, or Favre. Our individualistic society spotlights individuals for greatness.
3 comments:
Okay, confession time. I respect him, and his skills, but I was never a fan of anything other than his shoes. Give me Magic anyday. A guy that played every position and made everyone that he played with look better. With that said I like this. It is interesting that to me it seems to focus on the brand and his role in pop culture rather than on the court, and I like how it can be read either way. I feel as if it would be stronger without the "your" and if "defies" was "defying". I think that "silhouette defying" just sounds cooler, and more consistent with the other verbs. Also, I'm going to create a label for "heroes" when I get to my computer, and this is going there.
I took your suggestion on the first line, and I prefer it! Thank you, sir! Like you, I respect Jordan's skills, but I'll take Magic too. It's not very clear in my poem, but my intent was not to be particularly flattering of Jordan: it was to note the incessant search for the next Jordan, and emphasize the shift of the basketball culture from a team sport to a superstar sport. I know, it's not all there, and I'll probably need to extend it to really get to the anchor of what I want to explore.
Initially I read it is flattery. Rereading it I do get what you're saying. I was having a conversation about this last night with a friend. Team sports are tiresome now in their inability to focus on team. Whether it's Lebron, Pujols, or Favre. Our individualistic society spotlights individuals for greatness.
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