Hey poets! Been a bit preoccupied the last few days, but I've read all the poems posted on Monday and Tuesday, and I'm loving the different voices, similar themes, and overall creativity. I do want to comment on the poems, and will do so tomorrow. A bit tired today.
If any of you have new theme labels for your poems, in order for that label to appear in the rightside column: (1) click on Customize at the top right; (2) click on the Layout tab; (3) edit the Themes Gadget; (4) and edit the Selected Labels displayed. Hope that isn't too confusing.
Okay, my attention is on the rest of the Magic/Celtics game. Take care all!
Hi Edward- This poem reads like the start to something larger. I do; however, enjoy the simple, yet complex image you create here. I love the use of the word pirouettes. There's also a slowness to this poem... if that makes sense. It requires the reader's attention.
I like the use of enjambment here as the end of each line functions within that line but also with the line following. I think this offers several different ways to read the poem, which is a real cool effect.
I assume that this is about smoking and I can feel the speaker's resentment toward the habit, but I also think the metaphor extends beyond that into the drab daily rituals in general. The shortness seems to work considering a smoke break is relatively short. Maybe you can punch up the routine a little more. The lighter, the opening of the pack, the removing of the cigarette, the hand to mouth, etc.
I didn't see this as being about smoking until I read Brandi's comment. Now I see it though.
This, seems to me, could also be a metaphor for how we go about life without questioning. That is we move from one activity to the next throughout our days as if there is something natural about the artifice we now call society or civilization...like ghosts. (Or, I might just be crazy.)
Anyhow, I really like the visuals and the conciseness in which they are delivered.
4 comments:
Hey poets! Been a bit preoccupied the last few days, but I've read all the poems posted on Monday and Tuesday, and I'm loving the different voices, similar themes, and overall creativity. I do want to comment on the poems, and will do so tomorrow. A bit tired today.
If any of you have new theme labels for your poems, in order for that label to appear in the rightside column: (1) click on Customize at the top right; (2) click on the Layout tab; (3) edit the Themes Gadget; (4) and edit the Selected Labels displayed. Hope that isn't too confusing.
Okay, my attention is on the rest of the Magic/Celtics game. Take care all!
Hi Edward-
This poem reads like the start to something larger. I do; however, enjoy the simple, yet complex image you create here. I love the use of the word pirouettes. There's also a slowness to this poem... if that makes sense. It requires the reader's attention.
I like the use of enjambment here as the end of each line functions within that line but also with the line following. I think this offers several different ways to read the poem, which is a real cool effect.
I assume that this is about smoking and I can feel the speaker's resentment toward the habit, but I also think the metaphor extends beyond that into the drab daily rituals in general. The shortness seems to work considering a smoke break is relatively short. Maybe you can punch up the routine a little more. The lighter, the opening of the pack, the removing of the cigarette, the hand to mouth, etc.
I didn't see this as being about smoking until I read Brandi's comment. Now I see it though.
This, seems to me, could also be a metaphor for how we go about life without questioning. That is we move from one activity to the next throughout our days as if there is something natural about the artifice we now call society or civilization...like ghosts. (Or, I might just be crazy.)
Anyhow, I really like the visuals and the conciseness in which they are delivered.
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